God's love.
so is so good to me.
i always wanted to take up
violin and soccer.
but am always busy serving.
always complaining.
till this very year.
i got manage to take up violin and soccer.
dun really knw if i can cope.
but i'll try.
both of what i really love.
maybe it's a gift from HIM
from working hard for Him.
okayokay.
am guilty for being grumppy.
i love to testify His wonderful love for me.
despite going thru all this crap at home.
i'm atleast thankful for His discipline.
not allowing me to pity myself.
but teach me what is right.
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"
proverbs 15:1
Mummy's Love.
my mum is one of the few person whom
i dun mind giving up my life for.
i love her alot.
that very morning when i almost lost her.
i was so scared.
i cried so badly.
it reminds me of when grandma passed away.
i can't take this kinda blow again.
too early for anything like this.
i do really love her very much.
beyond what words can describe.
thats why i really despise those who don
treasure their family.
i know mummy love me alot too.
Loving My brother.
i have always wanted to make up
to our relationship.
for we fought so much whn we were young.
we could have just party and go crazy together.
but we didn't
we had bad childhood.
so i told myself to be a good sister to you.
most of my shopping trip
i would be always wondering.
what can i bring home for u today.
so that u can be happy
enjoy with me the joy of getting the kind of love i got.
u wouldn't know how excited when i can find something for u
and know that u would like it.
and so proud of myself to be able to make u happy
when i passed u the gift.
remembering the only time when the three of us dine
together alone.
just u me and mummy.
thats like the moment i really treasure.
so proud of my family.
telling myself.
this is my family.
my mum, my brother and me.
i really tried to make this family happier.
i did tried.
but what about u dear.
i am really heartbroken when
u disregarded me as ur sister.
and divided me between u and ur family.
can u phantom the hurt i went thru.
i know deep down.
i still love u.
so much so that i would do anything
to help u to not make mistake i made.
i'm just hurt and disappointed.
for so many years of us living together.
u stand a place in my heart.
i told myself.
i've tried.
now all i wanna do is to protect mummy.
do what a daughter does.
for i have done what a sister could have.
maybe oneday u would appreciate.
i hope for that day to come.
my cousins.
still love them as much as ever.
i love that day when i went down
to mandy's office turn chittychatty.
and had dinner together.
and the day when we all went phula-ubin.
friendship.
i've made so many friends thru the years.
primary school.
secondary school.
poly.
i dun used to think that goodfrens are hard to come around.
last time i used to have maine and jes as my best ever mate.
those that i wouldn't mind just waste my day away with.
but as we all grow.
we all change.
meet with dif people.
jes decided that our friendship aren't that worthwhile.
then maine became busy with her friends.
me and jo became better friends.
know almost everything about each other.
those were days when papa-san bring the daughters out.
whom were me jo xue and chel
for supper.
and go crazy after his work.
then baby turn to her bunch of weird frens.
i know.
u all can just simply say that.
no.. yvonne. u are the only one who is always busy.
i know that myself.
but how many times did u all tried.
i know myself.
if i dun have anything very important on.
i'll really make time for u all.
but i'm always the one said to be buzy and
never initiate to go out.
maybe it's just me.
but maybe we all shud take a step back and think about it.
or maybe it's just the environment.
where we all meet people that we all rather spent time with.
people whom we all have common interest in.
but there's nothing wrong.
i'm trying to learn that.
friends are suppose to be blessing.
not something that God has to give
or anyone is obligated to be with.
but i'm still trying.
while i haven learn that yet.
dear frens.
bear with me for awhile first.
but still.
maine is still my bestmate.
baby is still whom i care alot about.
mygreastestGoodpartner to be.
thanks for always initiating.
always there to hear my complains.
tell me how i shud not do this and that
so that i wouldn't disappoint God.
tell me to hang on to my girls when i'm really disappointed with my girls.
tell me how nice tomorrow will be.
laughing at my crap.
i really thank God for how wonderfully
he has made u into.
i know things are always nice and sweet in the beginning.
but i guess i wouldn't mind enjoying the quarrel together.
or maybe i shud try it first.
i know alot of times u doesn't know what to do
esp when i'm that upset
i wanna let u know.
its okay.
i'm thankful enough to know that u're there.
to velle and jc.
thanks so much for what u girls had told me.
not letting me feel alone.
telling me what u girls are going thru.
truely sister inchrist.
what can i ask for more.
thanks for becoming part of my life.
and thanks leonard
for sending me back.
was really tired.
maybe u knew that i wasn't feeling okay.
that the trip back with u and beng
made me feel better.
that i cried my walk home.
feeling so much better now.
thanks to all whom has been praying for me.
my life aren't that bad afterall.
just disappointed with it i guess.
had dinner at babe's house on monday.
saw what a nice family is like.
seeing what i want
really makes me feel so touch.
having a great family is really a great blessing
something that u never ask for more.
maybe that day will come.
when the three of us can sit down and eat again.
i'm tired.
but still.
life still goes on.
p.s
i know this entry is damn emo.
but thats what i was feeling just now.
and i'm feeling much better now.
thanks for reading dear all.
tata.