after reading jes's blog..
i got back that feeling i got
when me and him decided to break up
it wasn't easy for me to say
"we better be fren, might be better that way"
but i did say..
i paused for quite a while before telling him..
i didn't wan to jus end it like that..
but i couldn't..
didn't have much of a choice..
i could still rmb that time..
i cried in front of him..
but at least we were sincere in breaking up..
we met face to face and decide..
i has been like something that has happen to me one month ago..
but i still can rmb it..
indiscribable..
"jes.. i can understand"
maine was right..
she won't be able to listen to wad we tell her..
all we can do is accompany her..
be there for her..
yup..
he really make me feel tat..
real and true and sincere guys are all gone..
Wadever~
tom lied to me..
wad an.. .. ..
still said we were frens..
shudn't have trust him..
maybe guys jus can't be trusted..
He still is the way he was..
when will he ever change..
when..
During cell today..
we talk about relationship stuff.
i ask why did God allow christian guys to come in to ways
get us hurt..
make us sad..
disappoint us..
all i can say is to really trust in God..
and He Shall provide..
alright..
stop here..
scholing tomorrow..
quite sick of it..
anyway...
theres nothing much i can do..
Live my life to the fullest and glorify Him
Tuesday, January 25, 2005 | Tuesday, January 25, 2005
24th jan
school was .. .. .. tiring..
maybe not about school..
maybe its jus tired of things happening around..
GUys:
they are jus simply.. .. .. _______
when they jus meet u.. they'll jus be nice..
very very nice and sweet to u..
but when u are together with dem for long..
they'll start saying shit like..
i need freedom..
i wan to play..
enjoy..
wan to go out with fren..
all shit..
when in the first place..
they'll jus do all sorts of shit to get u..
then end up giving all sorts of shitty reasons to dump u..
i guess.. they are all afraid of committement..
sorry if i were rude..
maybe i'll change my mindset when i grow up..
Frens:
dunno wad are they thinking nowadays..
keep saying wads sister and stuff..
but i guess all are jus rubbish..
they only come to u always for some reason..
people always tell me.. good frens u only need one or two..
i used to disagree with them last itme..
but now..
i get it..
going for bowling game and soccer this week...
shud be fun..
alright.. will blog soon..
...
maybe not about school..
maybe its jus tired of things happening around..
GUys:
they are jus simply.. .. .. _______
when they jus meet u.. they'll jus be nice..
very very nice and sweet to u..
but when u are together with dem for long..
they'll start saying shit like..
i need freedom..
i wan to play..
enjoy..
wan to go out with fren..
all shit..
when in the first place..
they'll jus do all sorts of shit to get u..
then end up giving all sorts of shitty reasons to dump u..
i guess.. they are all afraid of committement..
sorry if i were rude..
maybe i'll change my mindset when i grow up..
Frens:
dunno wad are they thinking nowadays..
keep saying wads sister and stuff..
but i guess all are jus rubbish..
they only come to u always for some reason..
people always tell me.. good frens u only need one or two..
i used to disagree with them last itme..
but now..
i get it..
going for bowling game and soccer this week...
shud be fun..
alright.. will blog soon..
Sunday, January 23, 2005 | Sunday, January 23, 2005
22nd Jan
suppose to go for cell
but in the end maine and jes can't make it..
dunno wads up with jes..
seems very busy lately..
ask her out also very dif..
then yesterday..
saw her at orchard with debbie..
when i saw her i was like "wad the ~
i tot we ask u here.. then u say u might be busy..
then didn't come along with us..
but in the end saw u here.."
she said she didn't receive our message..
but i hope thats for real..
then suppose to have cell also..
but then she said she couldn't make it..
really hope to see her coming for cell..
she have not been attending church ever since dunno when..
haiz..
Got to ask her come~
New year shopping was fun..
me and sher was like shopping..
from 12 to about 9..
very very tiring..
but that was kinda fun..
i spent 'bout like almost 250 for jus on three set of clothes..
thats alot..
but good thing that i didn't bought that 75 bucks skirt..
if not.
i'll spent more.
haha..
expect myself to buy one more set of clothes..
but not enough money..
still got to get a pair of shoe and a bag..
haiz..
sickening..
going for parade soon..
will blog as soon as my mom doesn't hook onto the com..
...
but in the end maine and jes can't make it..
dunno wads up with jes..
seems very busy lately..
ask her out also very dif..
then yesterday..
saw her at orchard with debbie..
when i saw her i was like "wad the ~
i tot we ask u here.. then u say u might be busy..
then didn't come along with us..
but in the end saw u here.."
she said she didn't receive our message..
but i hope thats for real..
then suppose to have cell also..
but then she said she couldn't make it..
really hope to see her coming for cell..
she have not been attending church ever since dunno when..
haiz..
Got to ask her come~
New year shopping was fun..
me and sher was like shopping..
from 12 to about 9..
very very tiring..
but that was kinda fun..
i spent 'bout like almost 250 for jus on three set of clothes..
thats alot..
but good thing that i didn't bought that 75 bucks skirt..
if not.
i'll spent more.
haha..
expect myself to buy one more set of clothes..
but not enough money..
still got to get a pair of shoe and a bag..
haiz..
sickening..
going for parade soon..
will blog as soon as my mom doesn't hook onto the com..
Thursday, January 20, 2005 | Thursday, January 20, 2005
19th jan
19 days had pass..
still doing well..
i guess i MIGHT be well off without him..
i guess so..
He still seems like last time..
not much changes..
i ask him if we are possible back together..
he said nothing was impossible..
then i ask him clearly again and he gave me a No..
i guess i is an obvious green light for me to give up..
I'MTRYINGTO~
someday i shall..
me and tom rather close last few days..
i felt rather stress..
frens around me like not very happy with it..
but i guess..
i shud know where's the line..
thats why we are rather quieten down..
he said i was being rather selfish..
i got to..
either to one of them..
the violent gurlz temper doesn't seems that well..
i dunno..
but i really hope my sister in christ in there
shud know wad is control..
and most importantly..
staying happily everyday..
yup..
history teacher kinda cheated us..
say that she wanted to bring us to vernice..
but then say that we can't go b'cos not enough time..
Germany.. China.. Switzerland also..
but she say swiz is out of the topic..
Germany was one of their country in mind..
but they said we can't afford to squeeze out the time to go..
darn~ all the rahrah thing start to come out..
sickening..
Saturday i'm going to teach CE..
kinda scared to do it..
ever since i taugh them the wrong thing..
i became reluctant to take up this ministry..
No confident..
wonder wad am i good in..
drill.. not up to the standard..
Ce.. not very good in it.
Games.. run out of idea sometimes..
haiz.. .. ..
people around seems to be studying and revising already..
and me..
still simply playing and slacking all day long..
went to nyp today..
don really know wad to course to take..
haiz..
thining of science industry..
but.. .. .. i dunno..
then tot of tourism industry...
fun.. but dunno also.. .. ..
Business and accountcy and engineering seems rather boring..
haiz..
God~ wad shud i take..
haiz..
going for cross country tomorrow..
really hope to get in the top twenty..
but seems kinda diff..
jing sure will be top again..
hope she'll..then fri will be going out with maine to shop..
for new year clothing..
want to get lots'a things..
hope to get them all..
alright..
blogging off..
see u in a few days time
...
still doing well..
i guess i MIGHT be well off without him..
i guess so..
He still seems like last time..
not much changes..
i ask him if we are possible back together..
he said nothing was impossible..
then i ask him clearly again and he gave me a No..
i guess i is an obvious green light for me to give up..
I'MTRYINGTO~
someday i shall..
me and tom rather close last few days..
i felt rather stress..
frens around me like not very happy with it..
but i guess..
i shud know where's the line..
thats why we are rather quieten down..
he said i was being rather selfish..
i got to..
either to one of them..
the violent gurlz temper doesn't seems that well..
i dunno..
but i really hope my sister in christ in there
shud know wad is control..
and most importantly..
staying happily everyday..
yup..
history teacher kinda cheated us..
say that she wanted to bring us to vernice..
but then say that we can't go b'cos not enough time..
Germany.. China.. Switzerland also..
but she say swiz is out of the topic..
Germany was one of their country in mind..
but they said we can't afford to squeeze out the time to go..
darn~ all the rahrah thing start to come out..
sickening..
Saturday i'm going to teach CE..
kinda scared to do it..
ever since i taugh them the wrong thing..
i became reluctant to take up this ministry..
No confident..
wonder wad am i good in..
drill.. not up to the standard..
Ce.. not very good in it.
Games.. run out of idea sometimes..
haiz.. .. ..
people around seems to be studying and revising already..
and me..
still simply playing and slacking all day long..
went to nyp today..
don really know wad to course to take..
haiz..
thining of science industry..
but.. .. .. i dunno..
then tot of tourism industry...
fun.. but dunno also.. .. ..
Business and accountcy and engineering seems rather boring..
haiz..
God~ wad shud i take..
haiz..
going for cross country tomorrow..
really hope to get in the top twenty..
but seems kinda diff..
jing sure will be top again..
hope she'll..then fri will be going out with maine to shop..
for new year clothing..
want to get lots'a things..
hope to get them all..
alright..
blogging off..
see u in a few days time
Thursday, January 13, 2005 | Thursday, January 13, 2005
12 jan
haven been posting ever since like dunno when..
this few daysthings was good..
really thank God that i got my frens.
to accompany me..
school wasn't bad..
class was good..
jokers in class became more serious..
hope this will mantain..
CCa changed to thrus and sat instead already..
quite sick of the arrangement..
the five days one week thing..
sian..
Now got closer with my frens and stuff..
was quite ashame of myself that
when i got my boyfren..
i sort of didn't spent as much time with them..
sorry~
the CCa open house was good..
the girls did well for the
CHEERLEADING performance.. YeA~
cheers~
but for the first parade..
no girls turn up..
but its ok..
got to sumit all this things to the lord ya..
alrite..
nowadays i'm back to the baking craz..
and i jus bake some nice and edible ones..
yup..
waiting for the next batch..
will stop here..
ToGodBeTheGlory~...
this few daysthings was good..
really thank God that i got my frens.
to accompany me..
school wasn't bad..
class was good..
jokers in class became more serious..
hope this will mantain..
CCa changed to thrus and sat instead already..
quite sick of the arrangement..
the five days one week thing..
sian..
Now got closer with my frens and stuff..
was quite ashame of myself that
when i got my boyfren..
i sort of didn't spent as much time with them..
sorry~
the CCa open house was good..
the girls did well for the
CHEERLEADING performance.. YeA~
cheers~
but for the first parade..
no girls turn up..
but its ok..
got to sumit all this things to the lord ya..
alrite..
nowadays i'm back to the baking craz..
and i jus bake some nice and edible ones..
yup..
waiting for the next batch..
will stop here..
ToGodBeTheGlory~
Wednesday, January 05, 2005 | Wednesday, January 05, 2005
TueSDay 04 jAn
finally started class..
new principle..
strict..
even ear sturt also cannot be too bright..
haha..
but..
now we can bring handphone to school already..
but discourage us..
so if we lost our phones in sch then thats our own prob already..
which means..
i betta don bring it to school..
i already like lost 4 phone fpr the pass four year in school..
sian..
worst is last year..
lost two phone within a month..
sickening..
okk..
lesson was good so far..
but got lots of homework..
esp math..
but am quite happy with my teachers..
they made some mistake and put us in A2..
but thank God we are back with my class..
Almost like for three days already..
i guess i'm coping well w'out him...
hope this will continue..
i'm a strong girl to be.. haha...
all i hope is to be normal frens..
my phone spoil..
sianz..
the person called me and tell me that it'll take 500+ to repair it..
Oh mann..
i bought the phone for about like 400+
and now they wan to repair it for 500+
RUBBISH mann~ haha
CCA open house coming soon..
cheerleading is getting tougher..
but FUN~~~!!
i tried to be a flyer..
FINALLY~ haha..
jolie and ferlicia manage to bring me up..
The feeling was strange but fun..
haha..
i guess i must start to work for God..
of be soldiers of His..
better keep myself busy.. haha..
alright..
thats all..
...
new principle..
strict..
even ear sturt also cannot be too bright..
haha..
but..
now we can bring handphone to school already..
but discourage us..
so if we lost our phones in sch then thats our own prob already..
which means..
i betta don bring it to school..
i already like lost 4 phone fpr the pass four year in school..
sian..
worst is last year..
lost two phone within a month..
sickening..
okk..
lesson was good so far..
but got lots of homework..
esp math..
but am quite happy with my teachers..
they made some mistake and put us in A2..
but thank God we are back with my class..
Almost like for three days already..
i guess i'm coping well w'out him...
hope this will continue..
i'm a strong girl to be.. haha...
all i hope is to be normal frens..
my phone spoil..
sianz..
the person called me and tell me that it'll take 500+ to repair it..
Oh mann..
i bought the phone for about like 400+
and now they wan to repair it for 500+
RUBBISH mann~ haha
CCA open house coming soon..
cheerleading is getting tougher..
but FUN~~~!!
i tried to be a flyer..
FINALLY~ haha..
jolie and ferlicia manage to bring me up..
The feeling was strange but fun..
haha..
i guess i must start to work for God..
of be soldiers of His..
better keep myself busy.. haha..
alright..
thats all..
Sunday, January 02, 2005 | Sunday, January 02, 2005
a Deck of card
Got this story from jo's blog.. very meaniful story..
A young soldier was in his bunkhouse all alone one Sunday morning over in Afghanistan. It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't made a noise. The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week. As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?" The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord." The sergeant said, "Looks like you're going to play cards."The soldier said, "No sir, you see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards." The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?""You see the Ace, Sergeant, it reminds that there is only one God. The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments. The Three represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. The Four stands for the Four Apostles: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The Five is for the five virgins that were ten but only five of them were glorified. The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth. The Seven is for the day God rested after working the six days. The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives, in which God saved the eight people from the flood that destroyed the earth for the first time. The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten but nine never thanked Him. The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone. The Jack is a reminder of Satan. One of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell. The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary. The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings. When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year. There are a total of 52 cards in a deck, each is a week, 52 weeks in a year. The four suits represents the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.Each suit has thirteen cards, there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter. So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."The sergeant just stood there and after a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?"
...
A young soldier was in his bunkhouse all alone one Sunday morning over in Afghanistan. It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't made a noise. The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week. As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?" The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord." The sergeant said, "Looks like you're going to play cards."The soldier said, "No sir, you see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards." The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?""You see the Ace, Sergeant, it reminds that there is only one God. The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments. The Three represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. The Four stands for the Four Apostles: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The Five is for the five virgins that were ten but only five of them were glorified. The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth. The Seven is for the day God rested after working the six days. The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives, in which God saved the eight people from the flood that destroyed the earth for the first time. The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten but nine never thanked Him. The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone. The Jack is a reminder of Satan. One of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell. The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary. The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings. When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year. There are a total of 52 cards in a deck, each is a week, 52 weeks in a year. The four suits represents the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.Each suit has thirteen cards, there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter. So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."The sergeant just stood there and after a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?"
| Sunday, January 02, 2005
Happy new year
first day of 2005..
not very good..
the first day of the year..
me and nic became frens..
not together anymore..
he wasn't ready..
thats all i can say..
i'm very tired...
yesterday didn't sleep well..
we both talk to about like 2 plus after count down..
yun they all still said it'll be ok..
but it doesn't seems that way now..
i feel rather different this time..
the previous time when we broke up..
i could voice out all the things that i wan to say..
but now..
too tired to say anything..
when people liek jes and yun ask me about it..
i jus dun feel like saying anything..
sorry girls.. i didn't mean it..
jus dun feel like saying..
hope we can really be frens.. good frens..
i dunno how to tell my mom about it..
i'm afraid that she'll be sad..
worried for me..
haiz..
but i guess i'm ok now..
I have God that will love me..
what more can i expect..
Glad to have know this God..
last year was a sad year..
many people die..
babies.. maid.. lost children.. earthquark..
"God.. pray that u'll be there for them like how u are always with me.."
Amen~
A brand new year..
next year i'll be in a new class..
hope that it'll be good..
i'll sure be stress..
the new class is like full of clever people..
haiz..
dunno how it'll be.
alright..
that shud be all ..
my mom wants to use the com again..
To god Be The Glory~
...
not very good..
the first day of the year..
me and nic became frens..
not together anymore..
he wasn't ready..
thats all i can say..
i'm very tired...
yesterday didn't sleep well..
we both talk to about like 2 plus after count down..
yun they all still said it'll be ok..
but it doesn't seems that way now..
i feel rather different this time..
the previous time when we broke up..
i could voice out all the things that i wan to say..
but now..
too tired to say anything..
when people liek jes and yun ask me about it..
i jus dun feel like saying anything..
sorry girls.. i didn't mean it..
jus dun feel like saying..
hope we can really be frens.. good frens..
i dunno how to tell my mom about it..
i'm afraid that she'll be sad..
worried for me..
haiz..
but i guess i'm ok now..
I have God that will love me..
what more can i expect..
Glad to have know this God..
last year was a sad year..
many people die..
babies.. maid.. lost children.. earthquark..
"God.. pray that u'll be there for them like how u are always with me.."
Amen~
A brand new year..
next year i'll be in a new class..
hope that it'll be good..
i'll sure be stress..
the new class is like full of clever people..
haiz..
dunno how it'll be.
alright..
that shud be all ..
my mom wants to use the com again..
To god Be The Glory~